This is me…

I don’t want to talk about your hair, because, I’m a hairdresser , and that’s all I do every day! When Friday afternoon rolls around, and my seventh client of the day sits in my chair and opens her mouth, I want to say, “Nobody gives a shit about your damn hair! Is this all you think about in your life? Should hair take this much time and effort out of our day?  Have we seriously spent this much time already talking about the hair on your head?  Everything that’s going on out there in the world, and me and you are talking about freakin hair!

I’m 45 years old and obviously, I cut hair for a living. I’ve married the same man twice. We had a son each time.   I married him when I was 18. I married him because both my parents died right after I got my drivers license.

My grandparents moved in to my parent’s bedroom, and slept in their waterbed.  In my mind’s castle I was forced to live in the dank dungeon, and I slept on the concrete floors.  There were no windows, no light. They pulled me out of the dungeon when visitors came by…made me wash up and look clean.  What a burden they’ve had to bear, they said.   drawing of prison girl

I started therapy when I was 16, and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder II in my early twenties. My depression, mania, obsessive thoughts, and PTSD has made for an interesting twenty five years or so.

My dragon slayer is the same high school husband. He was there for me again, when two years ago I had a breakdown, which led me to spend some time in a psychiatric hospital.  I had begun rapid cycling, and was suicidal.

New meds and EMDR have gotten me back on the not-so-crazy train, at least for little over a year now.

rapid cycling

I’m still always cycling. They’re mild and more manageable, but they come every week. The voices in my head continue to argue with each other, over the existence of things that will have disappeared by morning.

I do appreciate my job, believe it or not, and for the most part, it’s tolerable.  But, you know how it is, the bills need paying!   So, I do my job and fix the hair! I  do all of the listening too!

But here, I don’t want to talk about hair!  Here, I don’t want to hear anyone else talk about it either!  I get to talk here!  I’m sitting in the styling chair in this salon!

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy my posts.