I Want You When I Want You

How come when friends and people call or ask me to socialize, I isolate myself and make excuses not to go. I want to be by myself. When I need support, I don’t reach out because I feel guilty for pushing them away. I feel as if I don’t really have any friendships anymore, and it’s my own fault. 

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7 thoughts on “I Want You When I Want You

    • No I’m not depressed right now. Maybe it’s just my personality. I wonder why I don’t have many friends, and then I remember, oh yeah…I always make excuses to avoid spending time with them because I feel uncomfortable. Or I just want to be at my own house. I was thinking about it today, and thinking “What the hell is wrong with me?” It’s like I’m in a cave that I put myself in lol

      • Yes they are symptoms of depression. I’ve been afraid that a cycle was coming on, but so far I’m good, just craving alone time. I’m taking my meds so I’m pretty sure that’s not it. Who knows? I guess if I don’t literally push friends away to the point that they’re done with me I’m lucky! They kind of know how I am I think. I guess I need to try and do better.

    • I’ve got work friends, but it’s rarer and rarer that we get together. I never want to do what they’re doing so I flake out on them sometimes. The other day a friend who I haven’t talked to in weeks called, and I just sat there and watched it ring and didn’t answer. I don’t even know why! What is the matter with me? One of my best friends doesn’t call much anymore bc I pissed off her asshole husband (long story, but I basically called him out on being a shitty husband), so I guess she’s not allowed to talk to me anymore. 🙄 I’m lonely and unsociable at the same time. I’m lonesociable lol 😉

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