I just watched a grown man almost have a panic attack.

In group just now we were having our discussion, and a guy across from me was acting manic-y for a few minutes, then fidgety, then he got red in the face.  I was watching him struggle to keep his composure so finally a couple of us asked to pause the group and asked him if he was okay.

He said No and that he felt like he was about to have a panic attack.  ( He had a meeting with his parole officer this afternoon )

The therapist led us in a calming exercise.  We dimmed the lights, she led us in deep breathing.  She repeated some phrases for us to go over in our heads.  He was bent over with his face in his hands and shakily repeated the phrases out loud.

A lump formed in my throat as I repeated these phrases in my head and thought of this man who was about the same age as me.  I knew his circumstances and his unmedicated bipolar disorder had caused him a lot of chaos and pain.

I just want to put out there in this blog universe that we are not alone.  There are so many of us struggling with depression, anxiety, bipolor, and countless other mental disorders.  We need to love ourselves more, forgive ourselves, and reach out to eachother.  It’s not our fault that we are this way.  We are good people doing the best we can and we’re going to be alright.

We feel very alone most of the time.  We are not alone.  You are not alone.  I am not alone.


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