I read a nice comment about a comment I made this morning before I got in the shower, and I thought to myself, “Aw, this is cool! Maybe I’ll make new friends that I share common interests with and it will be a positive experience in my life”.
Then I began to think about Assignment 2, my Title and Tagline. I liked it at first but I’m in the shower thinking, “Uh oh. Maybe my title sounds bitchy and will turn people off and I sound like a negative person”. Then it begins. Thoughts racing around and around. My heart feels like it has sped up and I can’t escape the fight I am now having in my head.
“So what if it sounds bitchy? You are doing this for you!”
“Yes, but what if this whole thing blows up in my face and I’m insecure and I’m not confident enough to put myself out there”.
“OH My GOd you’re so stupid”
“I really think I’d like talking to people like me”.
“But you won’t enjoy it, cause you’ll be too worried about something you should’ve said or that you did say”.
“One of the reasons you are doing this in the first place is to get past your insecurities”
“I have things I would like to share but I don’t!
“Now I am making something that is supposed to be enjoyable into drama”
By the time I get out of the shower I am in tears because I am so angry at myself for being this way.
Blogging may not be in my future. I feel so discouraged.