How in the hell can a person with anxiety possibly write a blog???

I read a nice comment about a comment I made this morning before I got in the shower, and I thought to myself, “Aw, this is cool! Maybe I’ll make new friends that I share common interests with and it will be a positive experience in my life”.

Then I began to think about Assignment 2, my Title and Tagline. I liked it at first but I’m in the shower thinking, “Uh oh. Maybe my title sounds bitchy and will turn people off and I sound like a negative person”. Then it begins. Thoughts racing aimageround and around. My heart feels like it has sped up and I can’t escape the fight I am now having in my head.

“So what if it sounds bitchy? You are doing this for you!”

“Yes, but what if this whole thing blows up in my face and I’m insecure and I’m not confident enough to put myself out there”.

“OH My GOd you’re so stupid”

“I really think I’d like talking to people like me”.

“But you won’t enjoy it, cause you’ll be too worried about something you should’ve said or that you did say”.

“One of the reasons you are doing this in the first place is to get past your insecurities”

“I have things I would like to share but I don’t!

“Now I am making something that is supposed to be enjoyable into drama”

By the time I get out of the shower I am in tears because I am so angry at myself for being this way.

Blogging may not be in my future.  I feel so discouraged.

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8 thoughts on “How in the hell can a person with anxiety possibly write a blog???

  1. Don’t be discouraged. I promise this insecurity is normal. I can’t think of a single person I know who doesn’t suffer from insecurities about something. Write about those insecurities more. Turn the insecurities into characters and kill them! Or marry them off to abusive husbands. Or turn them into characters that overcome their insecurities in interesting ways. Maybe they kill their abusive husbands?

    • It’s funny you mention that part, because last night I was imaging three sisters that were the voices in my head bickering with eachother. That’s where I got the author name MayMillieMeg !
      I never really thought of that as an actual “tool” to use when trying to manage all those feelings that are so crazy. Thank you!

  2. I love your tagline. And I think everyone who blogs has some of those same insecurities. I know that I’ve gone through pretty much the same conversation you had with yourself, with myself. (That sounded funny.)

  3. OK so I will share. I am new at this and worry that I am saying too much about myself or annoying readers because I comment on just about every blog I read. I always have an opinion and love to share it as you can tell by my blog site “O-pen-un-ated”. My anxiety disorder manifests itself in my talking aloud to myself continuously. My husband, Danny, often doesn’t answer me when I ask a question of or comment to him because he says he never knows whether I’m talking to him, myself, the cat or the fish. As frustrating as it is, that is a true statement. Not only do I talk to myself, I talk to everyone including the cat and fish. You have no idea how embarrassing it is to comment to someone in the grocery store and have them totally ignore you. ADD runs in my family (everyone in my immediate family has it), we all love to share stories on the stupid things we have done. We have all learned to laugh at our duh moments. I do know about beating yourself up and in the end, it doesn’t accomplish anything. You and I should stop apologizing for being who we are, we are special in our own way. I swear that I finally realized that it is true, “No one can love us until we learn to love ourselves.”

    Please don’t stop blogging. I loved this blog and it will help people like us to know that we are really not that different.

    • I like how you said to stop apologizing for who we are.
      It makes me feel better to know i’m not the only one!

  4. I have that same conversation in my head all the time. Not just with blogging but with conversations I have with other people, especially those I have just met. You just have to remember that it doesn’t matter what other think about you, or what YOU think others think about you. All that matters is that you are being true to yourself. It’s great to be yourself and say what you want to say. Don’t let others rule your thoughts and actions, just be yourself. Keep blogging and sharing who you are, I think your blog is great!

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