Mrs. Solar System

I know someone who is a stay at home mom.  Well, she stays at home while her two sons are in middle school.  She spends the majority of her time in my chair filling me in on all things annoying in her life.  From the time her ass hits the black vinyl, she’s complaining about all of her demands as a mother and wife.  She has to go here, she has to go there.  The driving, the cooking, the helping, the tolerating, the coaching, the cleaning.  Exasperating.  She does the sighs, the little eye rolls, the fake laugh that is meant to show that of course she is only kidding, she really doesn’t mind all of these things.  Oh, you know how it is.  That’s what you sign up for when you have kids, I guess, ha ha.  And my husband?  Oh Lord, he’s no help!  He doesn’t do this, or this, and all he does is complain and fuss about this and this.

The other day I was running 15 minutes behind, and Mrs. Mom had to wait on me for the first time ever.  Word got to me that she was complaining, and she also made a comment that let me know in no uncertain terms, that it was time for her appointment, and she did not like to wait.

I don’t know why I thought that I was immune in this world of hers.  Everything in her life annoyed the hell out of her, so why was I surprised that she was annoyed at me when I was running behind?  If you look at each person walking around, they are all like little solar systems.  They are the sun in the middle, and all of the planets and moons and stars rotate around them.  The big planets are their spouses and children, their jobs, school, whatever.  The stars and moons are all the little things that make up our lives, our little systems: doctors appointments, cleaning the house, watching tv, going to baseball games.   Everywhere they go, other solar systems intertwine and twirl together, and then they go opposite directions, and their shared galaxies separate.

When I picture this chic and her little planets circling around her, I can almost here the yak yak yak of her voice that would come from her and all the little spinning balls.  The rolling of her eyes as she moves in and out of the stars.  The next solar system in her path can hear her coming towards them…yakyakyak.  They must brace themselves for the foreign negative energy galaxy to enter their orbit.  Brace yourselves!  It’s only negative sound and energy.  She can not hurt you.  I repeat.  She can not hurt you.  Yakyakyakaykayaak.  Finally she moves through like a little mini meteor shower. Everyone knows she isn’t going to do any real damage, but is definitely a pain in the ass, and unfortunately must be tolerated..

When she does leave, her negative energy leaves with her.  Your stars and planets are spinning again, smoothly and quietly.  I like my solar system free of clutter and space trash.



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